Every single time we go out, it’s the exact same routine. The food arrives looking perfect, I’m ready to dig in, and suddenly I have to sit there for 10 minutes while she takes photos from seventeen different angles. By the time she’s done fixing the lighting and moving the fries around, my food is cold and somehow tastes like disappointment. I swear it feels less like dinner and more like some kind of soft psychological torture method she’s perfected over time. So naturally, I decided it was fi